Wishing, wanting,hurting & crying. ( A poem )

This pain inside me sometimes over takes me leaving me nothing but tears and fears.
No attachment to anyone, no reason to call me, no reason to write, no reason at all.
Nothing holds me to anyone.
I stand alone, unfairly served this plate, having to drink of this bitter cup, no one to think about.
Alone and scared that I will forever be alone wandering in this world without someone that matters tied to me.
Drowning in the darkness that loneliness brings.
Sometimes I can’t wade, sometimes I won’t swim just want to breathe deep and let the water flow in.
Never a baby always blood, not just a tear always a flood.
I stand alone in the middle of here wishing so much that I had a tie to there.
A life to hold me to someone, something to pull me out of here.
So far behind, so far to go, so much that I will never know.
Wanting so much to have a future, wanting so much to have a purpose, wanting so much to have a family wanting so much, that’s not for me.
Alone I stand wanting to be something to someone other than me.
Forever disconnected to a life that I want so much.
Wanting to be connected to a life, wanting to go on.
Longing for a life connection
Wishing and wanting hurting and crying, deep inside all I can feel is dying.
Wishing and wanting hurting and crying my eyes out until I can no longer see everything that I cannot be.