The Pedicure that changed the world....

(I have been working on this post for a while and struggling with this in my heart as well. This is kinda an all over post. )

Well my whole world anyways


lots of things have been changing for me of late.


I went to get a pedicure this afternoon.


I walked in and I was THE ONLY customer in the whole place.


Kinda strange, I even asked if she was open . Yes she was and I had caught her at a good time because she wasn't busy.


I sit in the spa chair and stick my feet in the lovely warm water and sit back and prepared to relax.


Well that was shortly interrupted by her ripping ( no exaggeration) my anklet off my foot.


The Anklet that I have worn for ,well would have been six years next month, had she not took it off.
A very dear friend gave me that anklet/ bracelet the last time that I saw him before he went to heaven.

I told her that I wanted to put it back on right away.


In her best broken English she said " This is so old and dirty and stinky take it off and let me give massage . You will feel better. You can put on at home. Just relax here.


Sounds a lot like what I have been hearing God say to my heart. Even in the midst of all of my other stuff I have been dealing with their absence in my heart. Maybe because when I am hurting I miss them all the more. Maybe because I know that I wouldn't have gone and done half of what I have had I had to answer to J .


I have heard God say to my heart :"Bring me ALL of your heartaches".

God has been begging to take away the pain of their death and to let me relax and soak my feet in the water.

" Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I'll give you rest." Matt. 11:28



God has been with me and been amazing in my life in many new ways as of late. I just have been hanging on to my own grief. I have been hanging on to the pain afraid too let it go for fear that in letting go of the pain I just might be letting go of them in a way. Afraid of what emotion would replace my pain. Afraid of the unknown.

" Casting all your cares upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

I memorized tons of scriptures as a child and in college. And they really do come back to you when you need them to.When I sat in that nail shop and heard the lady echo the words I hear God telling me in my heart I also began to hear these verses in my head .

I began to cry and I really felt a peace come over me, a small peace that I haven't felt at all in my heart since they died. I really knew in my heart at that moment in the spa chair that God felt my pain.


I know that it is just a stupid old discolored plastic bracelet.
I have one heck of a tan line underneath of it .
I know that I have his name tattooed on me and that will be there forever.
I know that no matter what I will always remember and love him deep in my heart, he will be my brother forever.

I think I love this anklet more than anything else that I have of theirs because it is a way to remember him alive and not something that I got after they died.

I put my anklet back on and plan to wear it until it falls off.

I thank God that He knows my heart, He knows my pain and He knows where I get my toes done!

Karen