2008

The Year in Review
I stole this from Mary Norton and do promise that soon I will blog again and stop the surveys I know this isn't myspace but I have been enjoying these.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Get Married!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't say that I kept the one I made all year but most of it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Taylor and my best guy friend had a baby but he didn't give birth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

NO
5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico and the US

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A family ( no matter what that looks like)

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Feb 15 my wedding day!


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Nothing really

9. What was your biggest failure?
I failed my husband my kids and myself big time and now only 3 of them can see their way around it. :(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, I was diagnosed with Depression .

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a bed, but then i sold it.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Ginger because in my darkest hour she reached out beyond what she had to and pulled me out

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine

14.Where did most of your money go?
Rent

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving to Arlington and going back to church!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Amazing Grace my chains are gone Chris Tomlin and Come for me- Charlie Hall


17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? Mmm...sadder.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Been more patient with my kids and husband,

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Moving,working, listening to people who don't care about me.

20. Did you fall in love in 2008?
yes once in love and once in lust.

21. What was your favorite TV program?
the olympics

22.. What was the best book you read?
"Love the one your with"


23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That I can still play piano and worship music as a whole

24. What did you want and get?
idk
25.What did you want and NOT get?
My husband back

26. What was your favorite film of this year?
7 pounds

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21 for the 4th time. I didn't do much on my birthday. but I spent the day after with my husband and it was waaaaay good.

28 What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Me, having some self control and looking to the future a bit more.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
the same as always whatever my husband buys for me. I really have no preference at all in this.

30. What kept you sane?
Worship

31. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Troy from HSM

32. What political issue stirred you the most?
I'm not really stirred much my politics

33. Who did you miss?
J, Janessa & Jayden,
and my nephews Tom, Tom, Ethan, & Sean.
Lora more over the rest!

34.. Who was the best new person you met?
Well maybe Ginger, I got to know her a whole lot more but I didn't meet her this year.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
The Grass is the same on both sides , stick with your own side.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Jesus today I am tired. I gave myself to be refined in your fire but Jesus today Im so tired. -Charlie Hall

37. The best thing you discovered this year?
My Church family

38. The best thing you lost?
my car

39. What are you glad to leave behind from 2008?
Being influenced by those who don't care about me.

40. What are you looking forward to in 2009?
I want to see this year what God has for me to do for Him.

I'm it! x 8

I got tagged again!



8 Favorite Restaurants:

1. Runza

2. Taco John's ( oh mexican fries I miss you!)

3. Starbucks ( is that a restaurant??)

4. Cracker Barrel

5. Chick-fil-A

6. CiCi's Pizza

7. Bennigans

8. Olive Garden



8 Things that Happened Today:

1. I got up

2. Took a shower

3. Went to the library

4. Going to check out a book

5. Checked my "thangs"

6. Checked my blog

7. I am going to fold laundry

8. I am going to go wrap more presents!



8 Things I Look Forward To:

1. Having my family back

2. Christmas with my kids

3. The day I can get out of bed with a purpose.

4. Getting married ( again!)

5. Spending time with my husband and kids

6. Shopping!

7. Having a baby

8. Eternal life with Christ





8 Things I'm Scared Of:

1. Being ineffective for the Lord

2. Not having a baby

3. Not getting married again

4. Scary movies

5. That my life will always look like this.

6. That my cervix can't be just frozen , I'm scared that there is more to this.

7. Crashing my car ( ....again really bad)

8. Pregnant women ( for real they are scary beyond belief.!!!!)



8 Things I Wish For:
1. Snow!
2. A Baby
3. My husband back
4. to be debt free
5. To get something for Christmas
6. a new car
7. my family back
8. a new house for my family!

8 Things I Watch on TV:
**Disclaimer** I don't have a TV and don't really like to watch TV so if i catch a show it is few and far between.

1. Jon and Kate + 8
2. The first 48
3. Dirty Jobs
4. Extreme Make-over: Home Edition
5. Clean House
6. House
7. Rescue Me ( does this even come on anymore?)
8. Are you smarter than a 5th grader?


Tag to anyone who hasn't been tagged or who wants to do this!

I was tagged twice!

Time for a little survey..
1. Two Names You Go By: Karen and Stacy
2. Things You Are Wearing Right Now: my Beatles Hoodie and my new socks!
3 . Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment: My husband back & to know God's plan for my life
4. Two people who you look up to: Ginger&Lora
5. Two things you did last night: nothing and nothing
6. Two things you ate yesterday: again, nothing and nothing I didn't get out of bed yesterday (well only to pee)
7. Two people you last talked to: Ginger and Dawna
8. Two Things you're doing tomorrow: working & going to church
9. Two longest car rides: Nebraska to El Paso & Nebraska to Illinois
10. Favorite Holidays : 4th of July and Valentines Day
11. Favorite Vacations : Hmmm anywhere that I can go with my kids and husband
12. Last trip: To Nebraska and back
13. Two favorite beverages: Dr. Pepper and kool-aid


Addicted too...
Rules are, you must list 5 addictions and pass it to 5 people!Addiction -- an abnormally strong craving
1. Blogging
2. My husband
3. Music
4. My church ( im sorry I know that they seem to get into all of my posts)
5. Wishing things were different .

Tag to anyone who hasn't been tagged yet

Is Heaven Lonely?

I found the feather that you sent to me, I am glad that with your dad there now you haven't forgot me!

So, I think that for the first time since you left I am actually happy for you.
I bet you were so happy to get to see your dad!
Sometimes I wonder if Heaven is lonely , I know that it is full of people but still do you feel lonely because we are not there?
Well if it is I know that you are better now that your dad is there with you.
I bet that your dad is happy to see you too and the kids! I know that he has missed you guys alot like we all have.
I wanted to come too but I didn't.
I miss you and wish you were here I need your insight and advice and I need you to love me.
Have fun with your dad and don't forget to send me more feathers
I miss you, Dad
I love you

Karen

Getting Better?

So, ever since before I left the hospital( Millwood) , people have been using this phrase
"Get Better" When I asked the doctor when I could leave he said "When you get better".
When I talk to Tony about our relationship and where it is headed he says we will talk about it when I "Get better".
Other people have said things like I am glad to see you "getting better".
But what in the world does better actually look like? I have no idea.

I still feel the same most of most days. I still have to fight to get out of bed to go to work and then sleep the rest of the day and night away for lack of anything else to do or anyone to see or anything.
I still fight to want to live ,to want to try ,to want to go on with life.
I still think about what if I wasn't alive 'cause I don't want to be alive, most of the time.
I still don't know how to overcome the thoughts that trap me and don't let me see out.
I still don't know if I will ever do anything that is worth going on towards.
I still dont know if I will ever get better


The only thing that I do get out of bed for and look forward to is
Going to my church.
I love the people and I think that they love me to.
They are the only reason I have to do anything other than lie about and try to sleep to escape the thoughts and plans I have.

They act like they need me and they think that even though I can only barely play that I should play piano for them, they think that even though I can hardly convey a thought that I should teach,
If not for them I probably would not be here ,
thank you guys so much for loving me as I am
and thinking the world of me when I am nothing
thank you for lifting me up when I am down and lost
thank you for needing me and my lack of talent
thank you for wanting me to be there with you praising our God together
thank you for everything that you mean to me

Without you I will never "Get better". ( if I ever do)

Looking For Jesus..........

So, Today I was at the church preparing some things for my lesson tonight and a friend called and asked what I was doing to which I responded " Looking for Jesus, seems He is not in the box where He suppose to be"

These last few weeks have been really hard for me and I have found that Jesus is with me every step of the way.
Lost in the darkness of depression in the middle of the night, Jesus was there
Writing letters to all the people in my life, Jesus was there
Cutting my arms until they bleed to let the pain out, Jesus was there
Staying in a Mental Health Hospital for three days, Jesus was there

Starting to think that maybe there is something worth living for, Jesus is here

I have been a few places in the last few weeks that are kinda scary(even to me) and I know that Jesus was there and thankfully not in the box that I so often put Him in.

Thank you, Lord for never leaving me alone and doing just what the scripture promises,
"the Lord will go with you WHERE EVER you go" Joshua 1:9

Praise God , that He never leaves us alone!
Karen Stacy